Evergreen Report #7: $26 Raised, Zero Hope Lost

Well folks, the dust has settled, the trees have been… somewhat adopted, and the "documentary crew" (which some people insist on calling them) has packed up their cameras, clipboards, and suspicious amounts of trail mix.

Let’s address the obvious: we raised $26.
That’s roughly enough for half a tank of gas or one of Ray’s protein smoothies. But don’t worry—hope is still alive, even if that hollow tree the Old Man climbed during the event is not. RIP to both the tree and him.

📸 Behind the Scenes

I’ve included a couple behind-the-scenes photos from the Adopt a Tree event in this newsletter. And yes, that is Frank the Camper wielding a stick as a weapon. We’re working on that.

🐟 Minnow Bucket Gossip Report

And now, a special message to everyone loitering around Gus’s Minnow Bucket Bait & Tackle Shop:

There was no Bigfoot sighting.
No, the film crew was not with the FBI.
And no, Frank is not starting a “Survivor-style cult in the ravine.”
(Although, between us, if anyone were to do that… it’d be Frank.)

They were here to film our fundraiser. That’s it. We’ll be reviewing the footage soon, and hopefully editing together something that makes this park look slightly more functional than it actually is.

We may not have the rent yet, but we’ve got heart. And sticks. So many sticks.

Until next time—watch your step, hug a tree, and keep Evergreen alive.

🌲
—Deb

P.S. Next week’s newsletter: a local teen files a complaint after accidentally joining Frank’s “Lost in the Woods” challenge. Plus, Chuck unveils his latest invention: the eco-friendly bear horn (it’s just him yelling “NO THANK YOU” very loudly).